32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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