I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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