I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
