I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
