no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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