Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
