it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
