Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dicks are not precious.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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