Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
