okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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