everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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