i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
