Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
