MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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