Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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