the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
