is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
