Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
