its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize