guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize