He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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