Dual....:-)
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
