she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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