woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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