I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
