Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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