apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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