your room smells of hookers.
And success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
