Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
