My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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