Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
