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Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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