just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish they made helmets for livers.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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