i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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