i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
