two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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