Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
