how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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