I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When are your genitals available?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
