The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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