It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
