How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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