Duck Duck Cougar?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
