He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
