Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
