I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
