We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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