the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
