i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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