her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
