Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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