So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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