I wannas sexs uuuuu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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