You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Shame - the story of my life.
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