I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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