i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
