the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
