i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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