So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
