It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
