You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
